First Love Is First Love...

A few days back, during the debrief session everyone laughed on one dialogue of my fellow mate sachin shewale which was " pehla pyaar to pehla pyaar hota hai "... obviously he was talking about me and my first love.

Yes, even i found my first love in fellowship like others but the only difference was that it was not some girl. He was talking about my school ek GUPS DEVIPURA BANI.

This is the place where i spent one month of my life working as a teacher, where i started my wsi journey in fellowship. This is the place where i did my village immersion and had lots of bitter and sweet memories.  Dilemma is that now i cannot continue my "Field Support" in that school because it has now turned into a secondary school. MY BAD.

I got this news in middle of the same debrief session and i felt cheated. Suddenly, faces of all the children in that school started to flash in my mind and i realised how much i was attached to them. Those smiles, those eyes, those little angles and devils making noise whenever they used to see me coming. I felt as if i have lost something really close to my heart, i felt like crying.

Sometimes you don't even realise how special a few people or things are in your life until and unless you are separated from them. EVEN I DID'NT.

I wanted to do something for those kids, i wanted to tell how much i loved them, i wanted to get some more time, i wanted to work there. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I COULD NOT.

I still get goosebumps when i think about some children who were really close to my heart. Those few special kids who really deserved some appreciation and boost, who really wanted me to help them, i can see their eyes haunting me...as if i have betrayed them...given them false hopes and then ran away :(

SO, i visited this school just to tell all those lovely kids how much i loved them and how much i will miss them. All of them started jumping and shouting because they were excited to see me after such a long time but they did not know why i was there and what i was going to tell them.

I went to each and every class starting from first and second. Little kids came and sat close to me and asked me to sing a song for them...i didn't...i told them that it was my last day and that i have just come here to say goodbye...it was overwhelming to see that those little kids understood what i was saying and they wanted me not to leave. SOMETHING MOVED INSIDE ME :(

Then i went to all the sections one by one, some of the kids were laughing ( not there fault, they are just kids )..but i could feel how much they loved me...how there smiling faces turned serious when i told them about me not coming to school again...i could not dare to see into there eyes...THOSE SILENT QUESTIONS...

I felt like someone was pinning my heart slowly...manoj, ronak, ujjwal, ankit, nirma, poonam, 8th standard boys, that tall girl, and so many special kids...they all were asking the same question with silent eyes..WHY?

And they took my number ( i know they will never call ),...but still it was special cuz it showed how much they love me...AND I LOVE THEM TOO :)

no matter where i am working, no matter how busy i am, i will still try to visit that school again and again...A PROMISE TO THEM :)

And i left from there...with heavy heart...couldn't stop the tears to come out...JUST SMILED AND WAVED A GOODBYE <3